Bored with Casual Sex

Earlier this week I came to startling realization- I'm bored with casual sex. I didn't even think this was possible. I love the fact that I can and have, had sex with someone different every night of the week. Thank you internet dating. I had just left a hook up and while replaying the events in my head, I started being agitated. The guy I had been with-Peter- was a little more demanding than I like a casual hook up to be.  We met under the guise of having a more "serious" relationship.  But when our first meeting was going to be at his hotel room, I knew that more serious relationship talk was just a ruse.  

So now I find myself in a position where I have to act like I'm interested in doing whatever they feel like doing.  I maintain my personal limits but with some people, I have to spend a lot of time reinforcing my boundaries.  I find myself having to explain that I don't like having sperm anywhere on my body, that everything needs to stay out of my butt and that if they try to break those rules, I'm punching them in the face.  Add to that the never ending battle of requests from my partners: will you dress slutty, talk dirty to me, reenact the Karma Sutra, have sex with someone else while they watch and the ever popular- do you like girls?  

What I want to know is, can't someone just be interested in having sex with me without all the add ons?  I'm bringing my great rack, excellent blow job skills and a willingness to have a lot of sex. Can't that be enough?  Why do I have to be the embodiment of all things pornographic? Just because you saw it in a movie or think about it when you're jerking off, doesn't mean I want to do it. And if I happen to drunk enough or high enough to agree to one of your requests, don't expect me to be excited.  Just be happy that you got over on me.

I guess I need to put some energy into finding a proper relationship.  That way I don't have to keep my shoes on during sex, wear a wig or do anything extra.  Finding someone to keep around is a lot harder than hooking up with random dudes.  And unfortunately I'm incredibly lazy, so I probably won't find a good man but instead will keep saying, "That's on my no list".  

Help I'm addicted to Craigslist

So this afternoon as I was getting into the car,  a strange sensation came over me.  I tried to shrug it off but it just wouldn't go away.  And then it hit me, I might be suffering from an addiction.  I've seen Intervention, I know some of the signs of addiction: lying, cravings, irresponsiblity, lack of focus.  I wasn't suffering from any of those things.  But I did feel like something was going on.  And then it hit me- I'm addicted to Craigslist.

For anyone who's been under a rock, Craigslist is a website that offers everything from jobs, dates and items for sale.  Hell they even made a movie about it- 24 hours on Craigslist.   For me it's like a magically fantasy land on the web where anything I could possibly want is available. A new job, it's there.  A free concert ticket, it's there.  A used pair of Conga drums, it's there.  A guy who would buy me dinner and then provide me with any or all of the following: drinks, sex, drugs- it's there.  

So now I find myself searching Craigslist everyday like my life depended on it. And being a fairly attractive woman gives me the freedom to use Craigslist like a giant shopping center.  It is my favorite place to find booty calls and other kinds of random sexual acts.  Among the things I've replied to and done: giving my underwear to a stranger in a stairwell, overindulging in weed that someone else provides, nude sunbathing (I have brown skin already) and getting a massage with an oral finish.  

The unbridled power I feel from doing these things has led me to want to challenge Craigslist.  I now find myself trying to think of what I could ask for on Craigslist that someone would say no to.  When I asked for someone to smoke me out and eat me out, over 125 people said they would. When I asked for someone to take me to a dinner of my choosing, 100 people said they'd be happy to have my company.  When I asked if someone would have sex with a fat, lazy girl with an unflattering description, who wouldn't be doing anything extra (not an accurate description of myself), 200 people were interested.  And it wasn't your usual lot of chubby chasers.  

So I'm taking suggestions on what to ask for.  If you have a suggestion, please shoot it over to me. I'll be sure to consider it seriously while I'm trying to figure out what the nude handyman should fix at my house.