Summer is here

Now that it's June, I need to focus on summer time fun.  Warm weather makes everyone more frisky and ready for fun.  I've got a trip to Vegas scheduled for later this month and I'll be in San Diego in about a week.  I've even got a weekend trip to Mexico this month.  So there's lots of opportunities to get into trouble. 

Here's to more stories that are shameful, hilarious and awesome.

Vegas Again

This year is setting up to be my year of Vegas.  I just came back from my second trip to Vegas this year and I have two more trips to Vegas lined up.  And since I really like Vegas, there's a good chance that I can make it 6 trips this year. 

Since I wasn't able to make anything happen on my last trip to Vegas, I was determined to make something happen on this trip.  I emailed some of the people I'd talked to on my last trip and decided on some guy who looked ok but had the right schedule.  I had passed on him on the last trip but this time I was willing to take a chance.  And taking a chance on him was a risk - he was a dumpy looking white guy with bad teeth. 

This guy turned out to be a good choice.  We talked briefly and then he got right to the business of eating me out.  I didn't have to do anything - just like I requested- and after getting off a few times, he asked me if I wanted to keep going.  I wanted to go to the pool before work, so I told him I was good.  If I'd be more into him, I would have wanted more but I was satisfied.  Not only did I get off with no reciprocation, when we agreed that we were finished, we chatted briefly and then he left.  No awkward trying to drop hints that he should go or standing by the door waiting for him to leave.  It was just like ordering a pizza; I got what I wanted and once I got my needs met, he left.

Unfortunately I didn't have time- really the interest- in meeting anyone else.  Also once I started working, it would have been tricky to shake my co-workers.  I'm going back to Vegas in June for pleasure.  I'll see if I can get a more exciting hook up on that trip.

Are you serious?

As I slowly get back into the limitless pleasures of the booty call, I'm trying to develop a regular one with a kid who works in the same town as my job.  We'd gotten together one time before my trip to Vegas and it was a nice time.  I was looking forward to seeing him a second time and he'd sent me a saucy email about the next time we'd get together.  Since I wasn't able to secure another booty call, I was really looking forward to getting together.

I was supposed to meet my booty call at 7pm but at 7:30pm I was still in the office.  I'm going back to Vegas again for work, so there's a lot of paperwork that needs to be handled before we get there.  I emailed him saying I can't find his address or phone number- both are on my old phone.  He texts me his address and I text back saying that I'll be there at 8.  He texts back saying he'll pass.  What?!  What do you mean you'll pass?  He then proceeds to tell me that it's getting late- late for who grandpa?  And that I'm already a half hour late and he'll be up too late.  Are you fuckin' kidding me?  Who doesn't want to fool around after work?  And we're talking about 8pm on Thursday not 11:45pm on Sunday. 

So I went home without getting my needs met.  I'm not sure if I'm going to see him again.  I mean, he might have had a big project to deal with the next day or was feeling good but whatever.  That's not my concern.  Good thing I'm going back to Vegas to wash this memory away.

Who are you?

One of my favorite places to go is Las Vegas.  And last week my job sent me to Vegas for work.  Since Germany is no longer my boyfriend and I was going to be in Vegas in a nice room by myself, it seemed like a great time for some Craigslist hook ups.  After two years of only having sex with Germany, I'm feeling pretty nervous/unsure about having sex with others.

So to ease back into casual hook ups, I decided to go for something that would require very little from me - getting eaten out.  I had already hooked up with this kid who offered his "excellent pussy eating skills" and wasn't too far from my job.  It was a little nerve wrecking and his skills weren't really excellent  but all I had to do was lay back and enjoy.  And I thought that seemed like a great option for my time in Vegas.

I posted an ad on CL Vegas looking for someone to come over, eat me out and then leave.  Although my post was short, I managed to mention twice that I would not be providing any reciprocation; it's all about me.  There were tons of responses and trying to narrow it down to a few good ones was a daunting task.  But after reading 100's of  emails, I finally found a few guys that I thought were good choices.

I got into Vegas on Sunday afternoon and since I didn't have to work until Monday, I figured I could meet up with someone shortly after my arrival.  I told my co-workers that I scheduled a massage shortly after arriving in Vegas and wouldn't be available to meet me them until dinner.  Against my better judgement, I told one of the guys to meet me in my room.  I know that wasn't the safest choice but I figured what the hell.

I'd just put my suitcase in the closet when I heard a knock at the door.  I opened the door and saw someone who didn't look familiar.  The guy I selected kind of looked like Chris Parnell with grayish hair.  With any charm,  that guy could move from ok to cute.  But the guy who showed up at my door didn't look like the guy in the picture.  He was tall and thin and slightly disheveled.  He looks gross and smelly.  No amount of alcohol was going to make this guy cute or even ok looking.  I let him into my room and started talking to this guy. The whole time I was thinking "who is this guy?"

He starts to tell me some story about getting mugged on a CL hook up and how he's always concerned for his safety.  We're still standing next to the door and I say to him "you don't look like the guy in the photo." He says "yeah that's just a photo I sent out".  What the hell?!  Who does that? I ask him "who's the guy in the photo?" "Some guy I met about 4 years ago" he tells me.  Does the guy in the photo know that he's being used to get hook ups?  As the disheveled guy keeps talking, I keep thinking "I hope he doesn't try to kill me". 

In what feels like a lifetime, he finally finishes talking.  Making sure I'm ready to move quickly, I tell him that I'm uncomfortable, thrown off because he's not who I was expecting and I'm sorry but I can't do this.  Luckily for me he says he understands -he's seen himself, I imagine this happens alot.  So without trying to kill me, he leaves and tries to make a last pitch to get me to change my mind. 

I close the door behind him and then notice that I'm almost out of time for hook ups.  So lame!  I decide I'm going to shake this ugliness off and try to get make something happen during the week.  Unfortunately mother nature had another plan for me- I started my period the next day.  I'll try again when I'm there next month.

"That fucking whore!"

The title is a reference to me and it was something I heard twice in a phone call that was less than 3 minutes long. I'd never been called a "fucking whore" before so it was shocking and upsetting to hear that being said about me. The worse part was it wasn't being said to me so I couldn't even defend myself.

I'd met Germany for dinner that night in hopes of finding out what he couldn't tell me during our last meal. And I'd been thinking about getting laid because: 1) I like getting laid, 2) Germany is good in the sack and 3) I hadn't had sex in a while. Never that two days before I met some kid from CL and let him eat me out; it was just what I needed to get the bats out of the cave. During our meal I was avoiding any questions that might have an upsetting answer for me because I didn't want to be too mad to have sex with him. So mid way through the meal, I say "let's get the rest of this to go and go have sex." Naturally he agreed and we left after finishing the meal.

We go back to his place and while all of the actions are familiar: taking off my shoes, going upstairs, being in his room- it all felt very awkward. Before there can be any nakedness, I tell him my ground rules. The ground rules had been thrown out the window months ago when I thought we were monogamous. After I finish, he sheepishly asks me about kissing. Of course, I say, kissing is allowed. We proceed to have incredible sex and I mean truly incredible sex.

As we're lying there in the afterglow and I hear his phone get a text. I tell him you better see how it is. He says it's his wife and she wants him to call her. I say go ahead. I'm used to her calling while we're together and didn't think anything of him calling her. I knew we'd get back to having sex after his call. He had already asked me what my schedule was like the next day and we were having such a great time.

The warden (his wife) knew he was meeting me and that's when I got the shock of my life. I hear the her say "how was it? Did you have sex?" Germany says it was fine and yes. Then the warden yells "That fucking whore!" She asks another question and he tell her that I'm still there and again she calls me a whore. He says nothing to her as she's yelling at him about both of us and then I hear the phone go dead. After that I decide to go home- there's no coming back from this.

All of the sweetness that was between us was now replaced with ugliness. As I was getting dressed, I looked at Germany and he looked devastated. He said he was sorry and said he wasn't sure why she hates me so much. Unfortunately I do. She thinks I'm going to steal him away from her and that he'll never look back. That was never my intention but maybe I should just to prove a point.

My wife wants to talk to you

In an effort to try and get my head around this cheating business, I've been making Germany take me out to lunch/dinner so we can talk about. Part of me is just interested in getting free meals and making him uncomfortable. Another apart of me really wants to see what's going on here. Let me start by saying that I know even thinking of keeping a cheater is pathetic. But like the old saying goes- nobody does anything until their ready. And right now, I'm not ready to say goodbye.

So I planned to see Germany after work and I had every intention of getting laid because I'm way overdue and don't feel like doing any extra work of finding someone else. Unfortunately our dinner had to change to lunch, so that ruled out my plans for getting laid. So now I'm not getting laid and our table is completely surrounded by people, so weren't able to get into any heavy conversations. During the meal, we talked about mainly random things; I'm traveling for work, I didn't get this job, the weather (!). But every now and then our conversation was worth while.

As we're talking about nonsense, Germany whispers under his breath that his wife is watching to see if I decide to talk him back. When I ask why, he says that we'll have to wait until we're someplace more private for that discussion. I just say ok and move past it. Then he says "she's like to talk to you". Now in the past every time she has wanted to talk to me, I've said no but this time, I was quick to say "Ok". Unlike the times before when I felt she wanted to meet me to punch me in the head or to give me a lecture, now I'm interested in the insight that she has to offer about her husband. We didn't set a time or date for this meeting, therefore I'll just have to wait and see when it's going to happen.

What goes best with confessions?

I've been gone from my blog for more that 6 months, mainly due to the fact that I was dating one person exclusively. Since this blog is about the adventures of a single girl, once I starting having a significant other, it didn't leave me much material for the blog. But much to my surprise there was a situation building that is the perfect topic for this blog.

I hadn't seen Germany the week before and was dying to get laid, so when he said he was at home alone while texting me, I jumped at the chance for him to come over. My place was a mess, so I suggested that I come to him but he was quick to say he'd come to me. BTW, this is kind of a big deal since we live an hour away from each other. When we were on the phone working out the details, he said that he has something he needs to tell me. Naturally in the hour before he arrived at my house, I wondered what he needed to tell me. He's leaving his wife? He wants to break up? He cheated on me? I tried to prepare myself for each of these scenarios.

He arrives at my house and greet him with a kiss. He seems nervous and distracted so I ask him if he'd like a drink. To which he says "what goes best with confessions?" I suggest Tequila or Bourbon because I know from personal experience that a ton of bad decisions have been made by me because of those drinks. As we're sitting next to each other on the couch, he proceeds to tell me that he and his wife are really separating and that he'll have a lot more free time on his hands. So far, so good- why is he being so weird? Then he tells me that he's been cheating on me for the last year. The last year! We've only been dating for two years- what the fuck!!

I almost choke on my drink as I hear this. I immediately think of throwing my drink at him but all I can think is "that's a mess I'll have to clean up". So I put my drink down and start yelling. "Are you fucking kidding me?" "Do you know how many times I had an opportunity to cheat on you? But I thought we were being monogamous." "Thank you for making it so I know have to spend my lunch on Monday getting an STD because I didn't agree to sleep with those people you did!" "You're not the only person who can get laid here- I could make one phone call right now and be getting laid in a half hour." "Do you realize I have a friend who asks me if I'm still dating you every time I see him?"

Much to my surprise, I didn't cry. I'd never been in that situation before but I always thought that kind of information would lead to crying. I was so devastated by the news, that I didn't hear anything he said after that. It was like Charlie Brown's teacher was talking. He was at my house for 5 hours and I tried to ask questions but there was no answer good enough. Lucky for him I was starting to get drunk and tired. At one point I tried to slap him but he managed to move away in time. He also asked me what are you thinking? And I said "I'm thinking about stabbing you".

He finally left my house at 4:30am. He said he was sorry and I watched him walk out as I noticed that I now had the worst stomach pain I'd ever known. That stomach pain lasted for two solid weeks and now has moved to appearing intermittently. We've gotten together to talk twice since then. I'm not really sure what's going to happen next. But I'd be lying if I didn't say that part of me wants to forgive him. Even though I know that makes no sense at all.

Guess who's in Las Vegas this week?

So I'm in Las Vegas this week for work. Just being able to come on this trip required a bit of haggling on my part but now I'm here and thinking about what I can do to make this trip more fun. Since I found out that I'd be coming to this convention, I've been very concerned about having to hang out with my co-workers. While my co-workers are nice enough, we couldn't be more different; my team is all male, all married and in general boring. Even with a private room, it's going to be hard to do my usual Vegas thing- dressing slutty, getting drunk, making out with strangers.

Combine me being in Vegas with the fight I recently had with Germany- yes, I'm still seeing him even though the last time I posted, I talked about leaving him- and nothing with time on my hands, I'm sure there will be some good stories to post. Today starts the adventure.

Starting to get bored

For almost a year now, I've been seeing a married German man. While I appreciate his charming accent, willingness to pick up the tab and gentle manner, I'm starting to get bored. I love knowing that I can make suggestions to do stuff and he always says yes but I hate having to work within the schedule. Two days out of the week we spend the night together and act like teenage lovers but in exchange for that time together, I have deal with phone calls from the wife, conversations about the wife and the kid. In general I don't like to date or be involved with men that have kids and/or a wife- it's just an annoyance I don't want to deal with. Our plans have been canceled on more than one occasion due to the kid- so fucking annoying.

So for the last few weeks I've been thinking about telling Germany that our time together is over. Now understand that I'm no silly girl who thinks he's going to leave his wife for me. I have never thought that but I just didn't realize how much of a drag it would be to deal with someone who's not truly free. I'm not sure if now is the right time, although I'm sure there's no good or easy time to say goodbye but I need to make a change. I should also work on getting some guys lined up so I can follow a great piece of advice about break ups: the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new.

Sex in the bathroom

Happy New Year! I've decided to start the year by talking about the most exciting sexual thing I did all of last year. Now, to narrow it down to one thing over an entire year is a big task but when I think about how exciting it was every time it happened, well I knew there could only be one answer.

Once I decided to take a chance on seeing a married man (Germany), it turned out that he was just like what I'd heard about married men on TV and in articles - starved for attention, open to just about anything and willing to pay for everything. His sexual appetite was insatiable, his willingness to please me seemed without limit and his was always full of compliments. Since we work relatively close to each other, we'd meet after work for dinner and drinks. I usually chose the places we'd meet at and one day I decided to meet at a hotel bar. I like hotel bars- they seem full of possibilities; with people meeting for one time or on going trysts. It's a very anonymous place considering it's often full.

Germany and I meet at Hotel Delaney and begin enjoying some drinks. He has asked me not to wear panties and I willingly agree. As we're enjoying drinks, Germany asks me to warm up the cherry in his drink by putting it inside of me. We continue to drink and make out like teenagers and after a few minutes, I give him his cherry back- all nice and warm. We've been in the bar about two hours and now I'm a little drunk and horny. We decide to leave so we can get back to his place and fuck. On our way out, I tell him that I need to use the bathroom.

We get downstairs to the bathroom and notice that no one around. I enter the women's bathroom and it's completely empty. I go back to the door and grab Germany and lead him into the stall at the end. The large handicap stall was perfect for what we had in mind. Up until this point, I'd never had sex in a public bathroom. The combination of drinks, arousal and general excitement was overwhelming! As luck would have it, Germany had just bought a new box of condoms and they were in his briefcase which he had with him.

I pulled up my dress and pull down Germany's pants. As Germany fumbles around to get a condom, I give him a blow job. He pulls out the condom and I put it in my mouth and push it over his dick, while he fingers me. While we're trying to find a position that works for both of us- my back against the wall, his back against the wall, pressed in a corner, balancing on the rail, etc- someone comes into the bathroom. We immediately have to be quiet and wait until this lady leaves the bathroom. After she flushes the toilet, I hear her walking towards our stall but she doesn't come all the way over. I don't know if she saw 4 feet under the door or if she was just trying to get a better look at herself. At any rate, she walked out and we got back at it.

Finally we find a position that works- facing the corner, I grab my ankles and he enters me from behind. Germany is slapping my ass and going to town on me. It's so exciting and feels great and we both come in an explosion. After the sex, I finally get to go to the bathroom- in all the excitement I had forgotten to go. We leave the bathroom with no one seeing us.

Since that first time, we have gone back three times to use that stall. Luckily we space out our trips to the hotel, so no one knows we go there just to fuck in the bathroom.

Surprise I'm married

A few months back I started seeing a German man. We met via CL and he is the one who bought me a bra. So he turned out to be much nicer than I expected and we began seeing each other more often; I was still seeing other people. About two months into seeing Germany, he casually mentions to me that he's married. Now I'm not trying to be morally superior to anyone but I'd rather not be involved with a married man. I just don't need the grief and I don't like worrying about being caught, followed or called by someone's wife.

Germany said he felt like he needed to be honest about his home life- you know, the wife, the kid. Up until this point we were just having a good time, now I had to make a decision about seeing someone who has what I consider a no on list. So after getting him to buy me dinner to explain his position, I decided to continue to see him. What swayed me you ask? My desire to do something I hadn't done before; I'd never knowingly been involved with a married man. After getting this sage advise "his wife is exactly that, his problem", I decided to go for it. I mean, a girl's gotta have some adventure.

No pubes at the pool

In general I could care less about what people think about me. This whatever attitude has served me well and in some instances, gotten me in trouble. So recently I've been trying to come to terms with my growing sense of self consciousness when I go to the pool.

Like just about every woman alive, I'm trying to lose weight. So I've been going to the public pool by my job to get some exercise. Generally I go during lunch or before work; it's less crowded and I can get in and get out. The only downsize to this is that the crowd tends to be much older than those that come after work. By now, I'm sure you're thinking "so what?". Well the so what issue is that I don't have any pubes.

A few months back, I went some place new to get a bikini wax. Due to a misunderstanding between me and the waxer, I found myself with a completely bald vagina. I learned an important lesson that day, you can't say "get rid of it" to someone who's job it is to remove hair. While it was happening, I kept thinking "she'll ask how far I want to go with this" but she never did. Then before I knew it, she was pulling the hair right off the on top of the lip on side. I protested but what could I do, she had to make it even. So I grit my teeth and prepared for the other side to be made bald.

Since then, I've come to like the way this bald pussy looks and feels. And naturally it's a hit with everyone who's seen it. But back to my problem. After my swim and shower in the locker room, I find myself wondering if the other ladies in there are judging me for my lack of pubes. It's an especially big issue on Fridays when I swim before work and am waiting behind everyone in the old lady water aerobics class. I see many of these ladies on a real basis but none of them are very friendly. I like to think it's just because they're old but it could be their judgement. I probably should learn to let it go but I'm always wondering. . .

A little too late

Since I hadn't been writing the blog every few weeks like I want to, I have a story that happened last Halloween but hasn't been told on this blog. But you know Blanche says, "better late than pregnant!"

On Halloween I had no plans for the evening. My daytime plans changed to include Mick, an old man that I'd hooked up with once before. Now when I say he's old, I mean he's old- 52! When I met him, I didn't think he was that old. I thought he was about 45 but when he told me he was 52 I was shocked; he's in great shape and has the energy of a man half his age. Our first time together was spent with over 4 hours with lots of hot sweaty sex. I was definitely interested in seeing him again.

I stopped seeing Mick when he told me he was seeing someone seriously. About 2-3 months past and then he called me out of the blue to get together. In that time between that first exciting, sweaty experience and the last meeting, something had changed. While he did eat me out like I like and had a lot of pep, I just wasn't into it. And seeing him again after those months away, I wondered if I was high when we met. After the sex, I couldn't leave fast enough. I thanked him for the time together and didn't look back. It's nice when you realize you're past something or someone.

Valentines Day-Boo

This year Valentine's day came and went without much fanfare. With no valentine and not one booty call worth spending time with, I spent the day eating candy and watching tv. Not at all glamorous but more satisfying than last year. In case you don't remember, I spent Valentine's day 2009 with Terry who couldn't have been more uninterested in doing anything. I wouldn't have had any candy that day if I hadn't bought him a box. Hell even my perpetually single friend Jane had made plans for the day.

So on a day that was supposed to be filled with love and sex, my day was filled with chocolates and bad movies. I don't feel bad about how the day turned out; I had a day's worth of sex on Friday. Actually I didn't even think about the lack of valentine until Monday when several of my co-workers asked me how I spent the day and then I had to tolerate their looks when I said I didn't do anything. I couldn't tell if they were shocked that I did nothing or disappointed that I did nothing.

Oh well, there's always next year.

Getting what I want

I know in previous posts that I've mentioned that I like to use Craigslist like the ultimate wishing well. I was in need of a new bra but didn't have any money. Now you may be thinking what's the big deal it's a bra? Well as a girl with really big boobs, bras in my size are not cheap. In particular, I like a specific brand of bras from Belgium- PrimaDonna. They feel like someone is holding my breasts with their hands! So to me, it's totally worth the $100 plus they cost.

So I placed an ad on CL asking someone to buy me a bra and in exchange they could see me pick it out, help me try it and if I'm feeling it, we could fool around after we purchased the bra. Seemed like a win-win situation; I get a new bra and some stranger gets to see my breasts. Naturally there were about 25 people who wanted to buy me a bra. It was very hard to choose just one person. I didn't have to pick just one- hell I had chosen 5 0r 6 guys would fit the bill.

So my plan was to get a few new bras; one isn't really enough anyway. Around the same time my iPhone was stolen out of my purse, so I was thinking of getting extra bras and returns some of them to have enough money to buy a new phone. Many of the responses made me laugh but ultimately I chose an older German man. He turned out to be a great choice. He didn't blink when the bill for the bra came- $129 and it was a beautiful red lacy bra. There weren't any matching panties, so I couldn't get them as well.

Since I found him so fun, I took him back to my house and he didn't leave until 4 hours later! For a man of 46, I was surprised at his level of energy. We made plans to get together again. So once he left and after my nap, I started looking for someone else to buy me another bra.

Can I get a houseboy?

I'm not sure if mentioned that when I was in grad school, I worked as a dominatrix for 6 months. I saw the job post in the back of a free local newspaper and called the ad because I thought it was a joke. I went down and met the lady who managed the place and she told me to come back the next day to shadow some of the other ladies who worked there. Since I'm a naturally dominate person, this job was pretty easy. It was a little awkward at first but then it was easy. And this was a job that paid cash at the end of the day. On the downside, I was surrounded by a bunch of pervs all day and I constantly worried about seeing those men outside.

So one of the perks of being a dominatrix, aside from being able to beat people when you're angry, is that you can get a houseboy. A houseboy is man who will do whatever you want in exchange for being punished. And as if that wasn't enough, you can force them to do things as well; maintain erections for long periods of time without release, working in the nude, giving massages, etc.

I've had three houseboys in the past and in all instances I found them to be a lot of work. Since there can be a sexual component with a houseboy, I won't keep one when I'm seeing someone. But about a month ago, I looked around my house and thought "who the hell is going to clean this mess?" Enter Craigslist and the search for a houseboy begins. I know from past experience that I have to clearly state what I'm looking for and that "this is not for everyone".

After aggressively screening all the replies, I decided to meet with a few potential houseboys. I figured the best way to meet them was one after another on the same day. And since I had spoken to all of them on the phone, I figured this would be nice and easy. Naturally I was late to meet the first guy, Jack but I called to say I would be late. Jack actually had placed an ad of his own looking for a Dom. He was tall, thin, attractive and very southern. We had a natural repoire and if it wasn't because I had two other people to meet after him, I'm sure we would have spent more time together. The next guy was exactly the kind of weirdo you'd think would be interested in being a houseboy. Tim looked like Dieter except he was blonde and I had to keep reminding him to look me in the face; avoiding eye contact with the Dom is standard behavior for submissives. I met the last guy, Rob, at a Starbucks about a mile from my house and he was just like the dad on Modern Family and basically happy that someone was listening to him.

I decided to have Jack over for an audition, where he would do some task for me and we could see if we'd be a good match. Upon arriving, he made me a drink and then I had him remove all of his clothes so I could inspect him. As he looked at the floor, I made comments about his body and then asked him why he was not rock hard even though we had agreed this would be part of our arrangement. In order to help with this, I grabbed his very large dick quite firmly and demanded that he become aroused. While I was waiting for his full arousal, I had him move some furniture around in my living room. When I noticed that he wasn't fully aroused, I hit his dick with a riding crop. This would have continued had I not noticed that I managed to break a blood vessel or two. Because now there were some spots on this dick. So we ended our time there. It was an awkward ending but considering he broke two of my glasses, I felt like we were even.

Jack got dressed and then offered me some weed. Naturally I said yes. Now when I'm getting high, there are very few things I like to do. I like to sit on the couch, watch funny movies, eat snacks or my favorite thing, get laid. So here I am, high and very aroused but part of maintaining my control over Jack is to not have sex with him. Even though I really want to. He hung out for about an hour after our session and all I could think about was fucking him. But in light of the injury he sustained, it didn't seem like a good idea.

Since our first meeting was just before Xmas, getting together a second time was tricky. We texted a few times and talked on the phone. Then yesterday I sent Jack a text telling him to check his email because I had a task for him; writing an essay on why he should be my houseboy. About 30 minutes later, he sent me a text asking if I was free to talk. When he got on the phone, he sounded nervous and sad. He proceeded to tell me that his business has run into some problems and he needed to focus on that and can't give me the time that I require. He also said that he "couldn't satisfy me on many levels", which I thought was weird but I didn't really ask what that meant because I could tell that he had practiced this phone call. He asked if we could get together at a later date when his business wasn't so frantic and told me how great I was. He also said to contact him whenever I felt like talking which also seemed weird. I told him I was sad but I understood that you have to take care of your personal needs before you could handle someone else's. I suggested that we get together for a drink. I mean, just because he's not doing my dishes that doesn't that I shouldn't get to sleep with him.

So the news of him not being able to work for me has me bummed out. Even though I have met two other people who will be auditioning for me next week and I've found someone to serve as my personal pussy slave, Jack's departure is sad news for me. I guess I was already too attached to him, otherwise I wouldn't be so bothered. Hopefully Jack will be joining me at the Silent Porn Film Festival this weekend; we had planned on going together.

Back in the Saddle

Note: I started this entry back in October but never finished it.

After an almost 4 month hiatus, I'm back to enjoying casual sex. About two weeks ago, I was lying in bed being sick and as horny as the day is long. Even though I felt terrible, I was only focused on one thing- getting laid. So at 7:30am, I proceeded to post my greatest Craigslist ad ever- "Lick me back to health". Since I wasn't feel that good, I was looking for someone who would eat me out to my heart's contention or until I was "healthy". LOL. Naturally as a woman, my post garnered over 200 responses and those responses included everything from: offers of tea, chicken noodle soup, warm homes and massages to help regain my health. Ultimately I chose an old man (white hair, wrinkly skin, gray pubes).

He wasn't as good looking as his photo and that photo must have been 10-15 years old. In the picture he looked like a handsome older man, in reality he looked like a tired old man. But I was already there and horny, so I decided to let him eat me out anyway. He did a pretty good job and then asked if we could have sex. Now bear in mind that this guy was old and pasty looking but I said yes anyway-I was already there. I wasn't into it and luckily for me, we couldn't get it to work out. Between his lack of practice- I'm guessing- and my lack of arousal, it just wasn't happening. Unfortunately for me, he wanted to cuddle and I wanted to leave.

After a short time of cuddling and talking, I was able to leave. I told him I was starting to feel really bad and needed to get back home to my bed. He thanked me for coming over and offered his services any time I wanted; naturally I haven't called him since.

But the ad wasn't a total bust. I met a decent looking older (52 but looks 45) doctor who has the energy of a man half his age. Our first meeting resulted in me being eaten out properly and 3 go rounds. I have seen that guy twice since that first meeting.

No luck in Vermont

Two weeks ago, I went to a friend's wedding in Vermont. Now for a girl who likes to get piece and get out, I love weddings. So whenever people invite me to their wedding, I always go and my favorite weddings are destination weddings. This was my second destination wedding, the first one was in Jamaica. I used to work with the bride and had never met her fiance (now husband) before. I had missed the engagement party and the bachelorette party, so missing the wedding was out of the question. Not to mention, when's the next time I'd have an opportunity to go to Vermont? And just so you know, it looks just like it does in pictures; really green and full of quaint buildings.

I went to the wedding alone, so it seemed like the perfect opportunity to get try my hand at a great wedding tradition- picking up someone at the wedding. Since none of the guests lived in Vermont, I figured this would be easy picking. I get to the wedding just before it starts but I look great, so it was worth the wait. I look around at the guests and to see if there's any cuties in the group, so I know where to focus my energies. I can't tell who's paired up but once the service is over and the cocktail hour begins, I'll plot my attack. After the service- it was nice-the cocktail hour starts and I'm looking for my evening's entertainment.

After 3 drinks, it becomes painfully clear that I'm not going to be hooking up with anyone. The best looking people at this event are the two lesbians and they came together! Now I'm not opposed to picking up lesbians but that wasn't what I was looking for. So I proceeded to enjoy lots of free drinks to get the taste of the crappy meal out of my mouth. Even with 5 to 6 drinks under my belt, no one looked worth the effort. I had been looking forward to getting laid with someone I'd never see again but I had no luck in Vermont.

Life's little problems

Let me start by apologizing for waiting almost a month since my last post. There's no reason why I couldn't make a post- hell I've been trying to have at least 3 posts per month. Well with a new month, I can only strive to do better.

So right now I'm working on 2 months without getting laid. It's not like there have been some people volunteering to help me. But I just haven't wanted to be bothered with them. Although in the last week, I received an email and a text from two people that I'd like to see again. Much of my lack of sex is because of my hesitation to do the necessary house cleaning-figuratively and literally.

One of the volunteers who has made himself available to me is Ed. He lives in Southern California and we met last year via Craigslist. We used to get together in parking lot stairwells and he'd finger my clit until I came. Then we'd go our separate ways. The last time he was in town, he asked me if we could get together for sex. At the time I was dating Terry, so I told him no. He's been in town for the past month and he's been wanting to get together. He's not cute enough for me to endure the bikini wax as well as clean my house. It would be a different story if he could host; he's staying with his parents, so hosting is not an option.

I'm hoping to hear from Jamie again. Unfortunately he has the uncanny ability to contact me when I'm on my period. I could call/email/text him but I don't feel like being bothered. I woke up this morning thinking that I should probably get the bikini wax in an effort to get me more motivated about getting laid. It's not like I'm not horny! I just being very lazy with no really good prospects on tap. So I think getting the waxing done will be the motivation I need. The total lack of hair provides me with extra sensitivity that will make me crazy until I get laid.

I'm going to a party tonight. With any luck I'll be able to make out with someone and maybe set something up for the rest of the holiday weekend. I went to a party last night and there wasn't anyone that cute there. Lots of nice people but I have plenty of friends, I need a fuck buddy to help shake off the cobwebs.

Ah laziness and cabana boys

I'm struggling with getting back into the saddle. Luckily I have some volunteers to help me get it over the hump. But I don't feel like being bothered with having to do the work. Now I know that only Selma Hayek and Halle Berry don't have to do any work. This is a problem that I often suffer from. Honestly, it's something I battle with on all fronts of my life.

I'm also being plagued by phone calls from the guy I fucked in a field. I haven't had a chance to call him and to say stop calling me- you'd think he'd get it by now. Right now I don't feel like there's anyone I want to shave and clean my house for. Can't I just go to someone else's house and let them be worried about having a clean house? Jamie sent me a text the other day and I'm willing to do the shaving to see him-I get to go to his house, so I don't have to clean up. But I think he might have a girlfriend because he often has last minute change of plans. Even as I write this post, I'm a little drunk and extremely horny.

I got a hammock about a month ago and I love it! I recently put a post on Craigslist looking for a cabana boy. I got a shockingly low number of responses- about 25. Most of the applicants look acceptable but I'm faced with the reality of having to clean my house to make this happen. I'm going to try and use this as the motivation to be interested in getting laid. You know I want to get laid but I don't want to do anything to make that happen. Lame but I got through this cycle every so often. I'm sure the cabana boy that feeds me grapes and makes me cocktails will help immensely.