Merry Xmas- Happy New Year

Christmas is one of my favorite holidays and this year, it was especially good. Terry and I had a special guest over on Xmas eve and he definitely made my spirit bright. Hands down this guy was the best looking, best body and best lay out of all the guests. He even asked about when he could return before he left the house. Merry Christmas!

Now that Xmas is over, the next holiday is New Year's Eve. I'm not really a fan of NYE; it's totally overrated. There's the expectation that you have to have a great time and when you don't, you feel like a loser. Add to that, the fact that people who don't drink are getting drunk and people who drink are getting smashed. Leaving the house on NYE doesn't make much sense unless you're going somewhere you can stay. That's not to say that I haven't had fun on NYE in the past. I had a great time in Vegas, where me and my best friend picked up a Croatian guy and stayed out with him until 8am the next day. And on my first trip to London, I was there for NYE and me and my bff made out with strangers and even the same guy.

Right now I don't have any plans for tomorrow-NYE. It doesn't help that I'm totally broke, so I can't afford to do anything anyway. Since Terry is basically my boyfriend, I asked him what he wanted to do for NYE. He said that he was planning on spending NYE in his basement. What the hell?! The basement? I told Terry I didn't want to spend NYE in his basement. He asked why now? And then proceeded to tell me that he always did that on NYE. I suggested coming to my house- it would definitely be more fun. He was skeptical but not against it. We'll see what happens.

Houston, I think we have a problem

Now that Terry is full of joy- maybe it's the season- and we're getting along great, a small problem has come up. For the past two months, we've been having someone extra join us in the bedroom (see T is for Threeway). I wasn't into it and I resisted at every turn. But now that I've done it a few times, I'm starting to like it. And this is where the problem comes in.

When picking the guys who join us, I usually pick someone who is everything that Terry isn't: young, great body, super easy on the eyes and hung like a horse. That's not to say that Terry doesn't have his good qualities. He's mature, has a decent body, sexy gray hair and average length. I could probably do better but he's far from being the worse I could do. But these "special guests" are just a thousand times better than Terry. It's like I finally get to have my cake and eat it too.

I'm not sure how to deal with the fact that I'm starting to enjoy our special guests a little too much. As a person who likes sex, I've enjoyed the act of being with the special guests but right now we have two that I would like to see more often. Both of them come via CL; Matt the grad student and Rob the physical trainer. They have a few similarities: great bodies, great faces and great dicks. My real problem is how do I tell Terry that I want to see these guys again without him getting jealous or feeling hurt?

I know he'd love it if I said I want to see them again- he loves watching me but he's not going to want to see too much excitement on my face. After our first special guest, he confided that he worried that I might be having too much fun. I guess I'll just try to be interested but not too interested.

Why are you being so nice?

Sorry about the delay in updating the blog. With the holiday season and school coming to an end, I've been a little distracted.

One thing that has happened is that Terry has been exceedingly nice. Almost too nice. Which has got me wondering "why are you being so nice?" I've been seeing him everyday and he's been full of warmth. Naturally I took this to some of my friends. The answers ranged from "it's about time" to "that's cuz' he's your boyfriend". There's no real way to ask someone why their being nice. It kind of defeats the purpose. I like to think that Terry has finally realized that he can't do better than me. I mean really; I'm fun to be around, easy on the eyes, like to put out and will blow the whole day away watching football.

While I've been wondering about Terry's niceness, I've been getting text messages from a kid that I hooked up with one time. He has been texting me like his life depends on us getting together. I keep telling him I'm not available and he just won't hear it. It's always "what about tonight? tomorrow? next week?" I don't know if I can keep being busy. I wouldn't mind seeing him but he has too many "special requests" for me to really consider going. Sometimes I want to tell Terry, "hey dude you better keep being nice cuz' there are others waiting to take your place". But that's not very nice, so I haven't said anything. I mean he's being nice, so shouldn't I?

Looks like your days are numbered

Now that Thanksgiving is over and my refrigerator is full of leftovers, it's time to get back to my day to day life. If you've been following my blog, you know that I've been spending most of my free time with Terry. Well I think that's about to end.

This week hasn't been Terry's best week in my book. I saw Terry on Sunday and we made plans to get together on Monday after I had a dinner with a friend in from New York. On a total aside, I hadn't seen my friend Jessie in over a year- so everything else was going to be secondary. After I drop off Jessie at Bart, I call Terry so we can get together. He tells me we'll have to get push to Tuesday because he's still with his kids. So on Tuesday comes and I had set something up with Adam (see T is for three way) but I'm not feeling well, so I don't want to be bothered. Terry pitches a fit and we proceed to have a fight via email. What the fuck?! I had already told him that we couldn't get together on Wednesday since it's right before Thanksgiving and I'd need to be cooking that day. Of course Thanksgiving day was out of the question. So on Friday, I got a pissy voicemail from Terry about how he's "bored and not having fun" and that "I'll probably be unavailable like before for a month." Again what the fuck?!

At this point I'm asking myself why I'm still wasting time with him. I mean, I'm sure I could find someone else to eat me out for hours at a time. But right now I think curiosity is the reason. I'd hate to stop seeing him before I get to fuck him. I'll have to put more energy into making that happen and starting to line up his replacement.

What's really going on?

As you know, I had sex with two guys for Terry's personal enjoyment. I had a good time but I could easily not do it again. I'm embarrassed to say that I'm really interested in just having sex with just one person. Around the same time Terry finally told me why I'm not having sex with him. About a year ago, he had a tumor removed and has been taking lots of drugs that affect his ability to perform sexually. He even told me that he got a prescription for Viagra and on the day he took it, I came over and fell asleep.

So now Terry is always trying to get me to have sex with different guys. And whenever I'm like can't it wait, he gets bent out of shape. I can't believe how selfish he is. When I asked him how often he thought this should happen, he said once a week! I'm not that interested. And whenever I balk at his requests, he picks a fight. He likes to focus on how I was seeing other people when we first got together. What the hell?! I shouldn't have to explain what I was doing to him. He said he was seeing other people then but I think he wasn't- he gets too mad when this topic comes up.

During our last "fight" it occurred to me that the problem with Terry is that he's really into me. It's the only explanation that makes sense. Otherwise why would he gets so angry? While he was making his case, I wanted to yell "just admit that you care about me!" He must think that the walls are going to cave in if he admits that. I mean, we've been seeing each other exclusively for the last 4 months. For an old man he sure can be childish.

T is for three way

So after much thought, I decided to go ahead and give in to Terry's request to watch me have sex with another man. And last week it happened.

Without telling Terry, I posted an ad on Craigslist looking for a guy to have sex with. I also had a two guys that I had hooked up with before that I thought would be a good choice for the job- DJ Rob and Jamie. DJ Rob is a going looking guy who naturally works as a DJ and is an amazing lay. Imagine a visceral connection that is fueled by so much energy any chance I get to hook up with Rob I take. In addition to being a great lay, he turned me on to the nude beach. Thanks so much. Jamie was a guy I hooked up with who lives too far away-over an hour and he has a ton requests; wear this, say that, etc. He's a good lay and had asked me about fucking one of his friends, so I knew he'd be down but he's too much work.

After getting 100 responses to my post, I told Terry about it and send him about 10 that I liked. Naturally he was very excited that I'd agreed to his request and couldn't wait to make it happen. Every time we talked, he asked about when it was going to happen. Everytime we got together he wanted to know if that day was the day it was going to happen. It was kind of annoying. I asked DJ Rob and he said he was in.

So now in one week, I had sex with two guys while Terry watched. Although I was really looking forward to having sex with DJ Rob, it didn't turn out that good. He couldn't maintain an erection and didn't finish the job. The next day DJ Rob emailed me and said that Terry was creeping him out. That makes sense- I thought Terry was a little creepy when I first met him. Even Terry mentioned that daytime sex was probably not a good idea. The only down side is that now I owe DJ Rob a favor that he can call in any time.

But the whole experience wasn't a bust. The guy from Craigslist- Adam- was amazing! We spoke on the phone before hand and he seemed very nice. Adam's only down fall was that he really wanted to hang out and Terry was pretty focused on that not happening. As it was, Adam came in while Terry and I were still talking so he got to talk to both of us before hand. Then I proceeded to have incredible sex for the next 2 hours! When it was over, I was completely spent and starving. Terry was very happy that I had such a good time, although he later admitted that he was worried I might have had too good of a time.

All and all it wasn't too bad and I finally got to have sex after 3 months of waiting.

New look

I wanted to let everyone know that I decided to change the layout of the blog.  I liked the previous lay out but I don't think it was that easy to read.  So this new layout should be easier to read.  I hope you like it.