For anyone who's been under a rock, Craigslist is a website that offers everything from jobs, dates and items for sale. Hell they even made a movie about it- 24 hours on Craigslist. For me it's like a magically fantasy land on the web where anything I could possibly want is available. A new job, it's there. A free concert ticket, it's there. A used pair of Conga drums, it's there. A guy who would buy me dinner and then provide me with any or all of the following: drinks, sex, drugs- it's there.
So now I find myself searching Craigslist everyday like my life depended on it. And being a fairly attractive woman gives me the freedom to use Craigslist like a giant shopping center. It is my favorite place to find booty calls and other kinds of random sexual acts. Among the things I've replied to and done: giving my underwear to a stranger in a stairwell, overindulging in weed that someone else provides, nude sunbathing (I have brown skin already) and getting a massage with an oral finish.
The unbridled power I feel from doing these things has led me to want to challenge Craigslist. I now find myself trying to think of what I could ask for on Craigslist that someone would say no to. When I asked for someone to smoke me out and eat me out, over 125 people said they would. When I asked for someone to take me to a dinner of my choosing, 100 people said they'd be happy to have my company. When I asked if someone would have sex with a fat, lazy girl with an unflattering description, who wouldn't be doing anything extra (not an accurate description of myself), 200 people were interested. And it wasn't your usual lot of chubby chasers.
So I'm taking suggestions on what to ask for. If you have a suggestion, please shoot it over to me. I'll be sure to consider it seriously while I'm trying to figure out what the nude handyman should fix at my house.
2 comments:
what about asking for someone to marry you so you could stay in the country. let them know that unfortunatley you have not been able to find a job and have not had medical or dental care for some time (so basically you are an illegal, broke, toothless and might have expensive pending medical needs). Good luck!
Hey addiction padiction whatever. Addiction is just a word to seriously fuck up the thing that you really like. SO what if you like CRAIGSLIST? It's fast, now, and FREE.
Sounds good to me. I've gotten everything from the bed I sleep on to the couch I lay my ass on to most of my baby stuff.
Fuck it, have fun.
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