Back in the Saddle

Note: I started this entry back in October but never finished it.

After an almost 4 month hiatus, I'm back to enjoying casual sex. About two weeks ago, I was lying in bed being sick and as horny as the day is long. Even though I felt terrible, I was only focused on one thing- getting laid. So at 7:30am, I proceeded to post my greatest Craigslist ad ever- "Lick me back to health". Since I wasn't feel that good, I was looking for someone who would eat me out to my heart's contention or until I was "healthy". LOL. Naturally as a woman, my post garnered over 200 responses and those responses included everything from: offers of tea, chicken noodle soup, warm homes and massages to help regain my health. Ultimately I chose an old man (white hair, wrinkly skin, gray pubes).

He wasn't as good looking as his photo and that photo must have been 10-15 years old. In the picture he looked like a handsome older man, in reality he looked like a tired old man. But I was already there and horny, so I decided to let him eat me out anyway. He did a pretty good job and then asked if we could have sex. Now bear in mind that this guy was old and pasty looking but I said yes anyway-I was already there. I wasn't into it and luckily for me, we couldn't get it to work out. Between his lack of practice- I'm guessing- and my lack of arousal, it just wasn't happening. Unfortunately for me, he wanted to cuddle and I wanted to leave.

After a short time of cuddling and talking, I was able to leave. I told him I was starting to feel really bad and needed to get back home to my bed. He thanked me for coming over and offered his services any time I wanted; naturally I haven't called him since.

But the ad wasn't a total bust. I met a decent looking older (52 but looks 45) doctor who has the energy of a man half his age. Our first meeting resulted in me being eaten out properly and 3 go rounds. I have seen that guy twice since that first meeting.

No luck in Vermont

Two weeks ago, I went to a friend's wedding in Vermont. Now for a girl who likes to get piece and get out, I love weddings. So whenever people invite me to their wedding, I always go and my favorite weddings are destination weddings. This was my second destination wedding, the first one was in Jamaica. I used to work with the bride and had never met her fiance (now husband) before. I had missed the engagement party and the bachelorette party, so missing the wedding was out of the question. Not to mention, when's the next time I'd have an opportunity to go to Vermont? And just so you know, it looks just like it does in pictures; really green and full of quaint buildings.

I went to the wedding alone, so it seemed like the perfect opportunity to get try my hand at a great wedding tradition- picking up someone at the wedding. Since none of the guests lived in Vermont, I figured this would be easy picking. I get to the wedding just before it starts but I look great, so it was worth the wait. I look around at the guests and to see if there's any cuties in the group, so I know where to focus my energies. I can't tell who's paired up but once the service is over and the cocktail hour begins, I'll plot my attack. After the service- it was nice-the cocktail hour starts and I'm looking for my evening's entertainment.

After 3 drinks, it becomes painfully clear that I'm not going to be hooking up with anyone. The best looking people at this event are the two lesbians and they came together! Now I'm not opposed to picking up lesbians but that wasn't what I was looking for. So I proceeded to enjoy lots of free drinks to get the taste of the crappy meal out of my mouth. Even with 5 to 6 drinks under my belt, no one looked worth the effort. I had been looking forward to getting laid with someone I'd never see again but I had no luck in Vermont.

Life's little problems

Let me start by apologizing for waiting almost a month since my last post. There's no reason why I couldn't make a post- hell I've been trying to have at least 3 posts per month. Well with a new month, I can only strive to do better.

So right now I'm working on 2 months without getting laid. It's not like there have been some people volunteering to help me. But I just haven't wanted to be bothered with them. Although in the last week, I received an email and a text from two people that I'd like to see again. Much of my lack of sex is because of my hesitation to do the necessary house cleaning-figuratively and literally.

One of the volunteers who has made himself available to me is Ed. He lives in Southern California and we met last year via Craigslist. We used to get together in parking lot stairwells and he'd finger my clit until I came. Then we'd go our separate ways. The last time he was in town, he asked me if we could get together for sex. At the time I was dating Terry, so I told him no. He's been in town for the past month and he's been wanting to get together. He's not cute enough for me to endure the bikini wax as well as clean my house. It would be a different story if he could host; he's staying with his parents, so hosting is not an option.

I'm hoping to hear from Jamie again. Unfortunately he has the uncanny ability to contact me when I'm on my period. I could call/email/text him but I don't feel like being bothered. I woke up this morning thinking that I should probably get the bikini wax in an effort to get me more motivated about getting laid. It's not like I'm not horny! I just being very lazy with no really good prospects on tap. So I think getting the waxing done will be the motivation I need. The total lack of hair provides me with extra sensitivity that will make me crazy until I get laid.

I'm going to a party tonight. With any luck I'll be able to make out with someone and maybe set something up for the rest of the holiday weekend. I went to a party last night and there wasn't anyone that cute there. Lots of nice people but I have plenty of friends, I need a fuck buddy to help shake off the cobwebs.

Ah laziness and cabana boys

I'm struggling with getting back into the saddle. Luckily I have some volunteers to help me get it over the hump. But I don't feel like being bothered with having to do the work. Now I know that only Selma Hayek and Halle Berry don't have to do any work. This is a problem that I often suffer from. Honestly, it's something I battle with on all fronts of my life.

I'm also being plagued by phone calls from the guy I fucked in a field. I haven't had a chance to call him and to say stop calling me- you'd think he'd get it by now. Right now I don't feel like there's anyone I want to shave and clean my house for. Can't I just go to someone else's house and let them be worried about having a clean house? Jamie sent me a text the other day and I'm willing to do the shaving to see him-I get to go to his house, so I don't have to clean up. But I think he might have a girlfriend because he often has last minute change of plans. Even as I write this post, I'm a little drunk and extremely horny.

I got a hammock about a month ago and I love it! I recently put a post on Craigslist looking for a cabana boy. I got a shockingly low number of responses- about 25. Most of the applicants look acceptable but I'm faced with the reality of having to clean my house to make this happen. I'm going to try and use this as the motivation to be interested in getting laid. You know I want to get laid but I don't want to do anything to make that happen. Lame but I got through this cycle every so often. I'm sure the cabana boy that feeds me grapes and makes me cocktails will help immensely.

Back in the saddle

Now that's its been over a week since I spoke with Terry, I need to take the advice I once got from my sister- the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new. I was supposed to see Jamie last weekend but Mother Nature felt like reminding me that I'm not having kids this month. So just before I wrote this entry, I sent him a text to reschedule our play date for this week. I'm not sure how much energy I want to put into finding that someone to get under. Jamie is a good choice because I already know him, he's great in the sack and will happily host.

About a month ago I got the iPhone and I love it! While I was checking out all of the features on the phone, I started looking at all of my contacts. Among my contacts was a guy named Brad Brewmaster. I met this guy via Craigslist and he was looking for someone to sunbath with him at home. At the time, I was really just discovering my love of sunbathing in the nude; not that I need the extra color- I was blessed with golden brown skin. But the feeling of the sun on my naked body is too good to pass up. We got together twice, it would have been more but he lives on the outer edge of the bay area and I didn't feel like driving out there. He couldn't come to me because I don't have the privacy in my yard to sunbath in the nude. I guess he could have come over to get laid but his work schedule meant that I'd be waking up early.

The reason I even started talking about this is because I'm trying to decide if I should delete his phone number. I haven't talked to him in a year, so I'm wondering what's the statute of limitations on calling old booty calls? If anyone has an answer let me know. If I can find his email address, I might shoot him an email and see if he wants to get together.

I want to try and avoid Craigslist for a while but I don't want to take too long before getting laid. Right now it seems like a hassle to find that someone but once I get that laid, I'll be ready to rock and roll!

A drunken Sunday and other days

About two weeks ago I was leaving a house warming party where I'd had several cocktails. Being in no condition to drive, I decided to get a burrito to try and sop up the booze. After the burrito, I was less drunk but still pretty tipsy and feeling frisky. Since I hadn't officially ended things with Terry, I started by calling him. I knew that even in my tipsy state, I could make it to his place and we could really GET IT ON. Of course, he didn't answer when I called but I was in no mood to not get laid or at least felt up. So I decided to call the last special guest I saw with Terry. Emilio had called me that week wanting to know if I was free to get together without Terry. Naturally I said no but on this day, I was too frisky to care.

As luck would have it, Emilio was available and interested in getting together. Well it turns out that he has house mates who all happened to be home. Now this could be a lie but I was too drunk to care. So we drive around trying to figure out where to go. He can't go to my house because: it's a mess and I'd be embarrassed and I don't want to deal with taking him home after we're done. After 5 minutes of driving around, Emilio suggests that we go to this field that's on the side of the road. We get out into this field and proceed to go at it like wild animals! In a gentlemanly move, he lied on the ground so I wouldn't have to get dirty. While we were going at it, we heard people walking thru the field. We stop for a moment and then go right back at it. We finish up and leave. I take him back to his house and drive myself home for a nap.

To be honest I would have preferred to see Terry but Emilio was available and into seeing me. I didn't feel bad about technically cheating on Terry because he hasn't been available and I felt like I'm free to do anything I'd like.

In addition to Emilio, I contacted Jamie to see what he was up to. Now if you remember, Jamie had been emailing me a lot trying to get me to come see him without Terry. So I sent him an email saying that my relationship with Terry was ending and I'd like to see him. Naturally he was more than willing- he even suggested using our time together to clear my head. We've been having some difficulty getting together but it's going to happen soon and it'll be great.

And in closing, I called Terry today and left him a message - of course he didn't answer the phone. My message was this: I wanted to talk to you but since I didn't, whenever you get time for me, you can call. And with that, I am now free from Terry. I'm a little sad but happy too. He can call me whenever he likes but I'm sure I'll be busy.

Getting soft in my old age

Have you ever wondered why you make the choices you do? Recently my sister said to me "everyone is soft on someone even when they know better." Now I've never thought of myself as being soft but it couldn't have been a more accurate description. Because there's no good reason why I'm still trying to spend time with Terry. I've talked about Terry with everyone I know, trying to figure out why I can't make a clean break from Terry. Finally someone said something that I think might be the answer- companionship.

I had not considered companionship at all and the more I think about it, it makes sense. It would explain why I can't say good bye, why I've put up with Terry's piss poor behavior and his Svengali type hold over me. Although I have always enjoyed being able to pull different guys any day of the week, as I've gotten old that's been losing some of it's appeal with me. I've been more interested in having that someone I could relax and be myself with. There are plenty of days I don't feel like doing anything extra and I want someone to be ok with that. And until recently, Terry has been ok with that. Even as I write this, I'm embarrassed by my own thoughts and feelings.

I shouldn't be surprised about getting soft. I've been noticing it for sometime now. Every time I need to pull the trigger on a guy, it takes a little more time than the time before. I guess there isn't anything wrong with getting a little soft but I need to temper it. I wonder if I'll be able to get it under control.

Breaking up is hard to do, part 2

Let me apologize for breaking one story into two parts. I was getting tired and could tell I needed a lot more space to finish my story. I don't want to force you to read a super long post to get the background and the details. A quick recap for those of you who didn't read part 1. After two weeks, I finally saw Terry and we had a special guest. I've been pissed at him and wanted to lay into him in person-not over the phone/text/email.

Once Terry is lying in bed happy about the special guest, I ask him what's going on with us. He says, "what do you mean?" What the fuck do you think I mean? Terry proceeds to tell me that he wasn't prepared to be a boyfriend and that there are so many demands and expectations on him. What? Demands? Wanting to spend time with him is demanding? Meeting my friends is an expectation he can't meet? Un-fucking-believable! He then says that he has felt stressed out because I'm always demanding to be touched. And he felt bad because I was angry at him. Also he was tired of us having the same conversation about the things I wanted him to do. Now I never meant to make him feel bad (that's the truth) but I feel like a lot of it could have been avoided.

Although our talk was only about 15 minutes; I was too drunk and stoned to get more involved than that, it was full of interesting tidbits. Our talk included this gem- "before I met you, I hadn't seen you in 49 years. Two weeks isn't a big deal." This was in response to my statement about not seeing him for two weeks. What an ass! He also told me that he needs to spend time with his kids - granted he wasn't spending that much time with them before-and that sometimes he needs to have time to himself. I said I understand that you need to spend time with your kids and then he promptly said that I really didn't understand because we keep having to talk about this. On this point, he is probably right. I don't have kids and up to this point have never dated anyone with kids, so they are not part of my thought process. I even mentioned to him that I was trying to get my head around that fact that he seemed kind of underwhelmed by me and this is not an experience I'm used to.

Ultimately I didn't get the resolution I was looking for. And while I did appreciate his honesty, his reasons for basically being a dick weren't good enough. I really just wanted him to say he was sorry. That was it. Since that didn't happen, I just stopped arguing with him. I don't have the energy or interest to argue like I used to. In my younger days, I would fight until I won and would say anything to win the fight and I mean anything. I once told a boyfriend that maybe he should fuck his sister when he suggested I act more like her. But there I was just giving up on the fight and accepting Terry's shitty behavior.

So when this conversation was over, I asked Terry if he'd hold me. One of the things I really like about Terry is that he holds me while we sleep. He jokingly says that'll cost extra. I tell him I didn't bring any money and I'll have to owe him. We both laugh and to my surprise, he holds me real tight and we start to fool around. It was great because I didn't have to do or say anything to make it happen. I thought to myself-Finally! And then we went to sleep- which was good because I was exhausted. When we got up in the morning, Terry asked what I was doing that day because he was free. I was getting a haircut (turned out cute, BTW) and wasn't available. We made plans to get together on Tuesday. That morning it was like our fight didn't happen the night before. Terry was affectionate and sweet.

Now Tuesday came and while I needed to push our time together back, we didn't even get together. I found myself back in the same position as before-no return calls and avoidance. I can't believe that I've been accepting Terry's shitty behavior. It's totally shameful and yet I'm barely doing anything to stop it. I've been trying to ask myself why I put up with this and I don't have an answer aside from sheer laziness. But at some level I've now become the kind of woman I hate-the kind who'd rather have someone instead of no one. I guess I'm keeping hope alive that Terry will turn it around and things can go back to being fun. But even if that happens, there are plenty of things he doesn't do.

As I write this post, I'm scheduled to see Terry tonight. We'll see if that even happen.

Breaking up is hard to do

Let me start by saying I'm sorry that it's been almost a month since my last post. The lame thing about that is I was working and not doing anything exciting to keep me from writing. I wish it was more exciting. Moving on. . .

In my last post, I mentioned that I should probably break up with Terry because: I'm not getting laid, he's being weird and distant, blowing me off and I'm not getting laid. As you can see, getting laid is crucial to me being happy in this relationship. Now I've been trying to give Terry the benefit of the doubt. He told me he's been feeling down, so I chalked up some of his flaky behavior to that. But then he started waiting two days to call/text me back. Now that kind of behavior is unforgivable to me. In this day and age, you can always get back to people without having to talk them. I don't think it's asking too much to just text/email saying-"it'll have to wait" or something.

I'm getting agitated with Terry and want to read him the riot act. But I want to do it in person not over the phone. So I keep trying to get together to see him. So one day when I'm at work, Terry actually calls me back. While were talking, I say to him that right now I feel like the laundry is more important to him than I am. He just laughs. So then I say to him, if you don't want to see me anymore just say that. You couldn't get a better situation for a painless break up: we're on the phone, I'm at work and I've put the topic on the table. Instead of saying yes he wants out, he says nothing. Not I want to stay, not I want out-nothing. Naturally I'm pissed. I'm an all or nothing kind of a girl. Either you're into me (and that's most people) or you're not.
We end our phone call by making some plans to get together with a special guest.

Even though I didn't think we were going to actually get together, I posted an ad looking for new special guests. I found one that seemed perfect-young, cute and horny. I actually talked to Kevin on the phone for about an hour and was looking forward to seeing him. And just to hedge my bets, I get some other people loosely lined up.

So its the day Terry and I are supposed to get together. Now I'm been living on a steady diet of him canceling on me at the last minute, so I expect that to happen. Surprisingly when I call him, he's home and waiting for me to come over. Now I'm kind of an old fashioned girl when it comes to dumping people- I like to do it in person. With that in mind, I decide that I'm not going to say anything about what's been going on with us until after the special guest. Cuz' lets face facts, I really need to get laid and Terry won't be expecting anything at that point.

Kevin doesn't show up and I can't get ahold of my number two guy. I finally get someone to come over and when he gets there, I think to myself "good thing I'm stoned and drunk". This kid Emilio turns out to be a great lay and full of energy. All the while, Terry is touching me like I'm a sack of potatoes. WTF?! I'd rather he didn't touch me at all. Mind you, he didn't eat me out like usual before Emilio started working on me. Emilio happily leaves and says he can't wait to come back. And why not? I'm a great lay.

This post is very long, so I'll end here. I'll post the rest of the night's activities soon.

My boyfriend is depressed- what am I supposed to do?

In my last post, I mentioned that Terry's been acting indifferent with me. He hasn't been giving me the attention I wanted or am accustomed to getting and he was barely trying to see me. So yesterday I was having lunch with him and I mentioned to him that I felt like he wasn't interested in seeing me. Before I could even finish that statement, he said "this again. I bet I know what you're going to say." After I said my peace, Terry said that he hasn't been feeling well and it has nothing to do with me. We continued eating and talking. So once we get in the car, I ask Terry if he's seeing someone else. He laughed, stopped the car and said "no I'm not seeing anyone else. I'm old, my body hurts and don't really feel like doing anything. I just feel like being alone." I couldn't even imagine not wanting to spend time with me. I'm super fun to be around!

I asked him if he's been feeling a little depressed and he said yes. He also said that he knows the way he's been feeling has been hard for other people, since he wasn't available and/or interested in seeing them. Now I know that when I first met Terry he was taking some pills to deal with depression. He said that there were days when he felt so blue and that the pills helped eliminate that. A while back he had told me that he stopped taking them because he felt like he didn't need them. So it looks like he might need to get back on them.

Now I want to be supportive but honestly I have no idea how to do that. So I'm open to suggestion if you have any. Also what about my needs? I mean, I all for helping Terry feel better but where does that leave me? And ultimately I'm most concerned about that. This also means that I'm probably not going to get any sexual attention for a while. Which totally sucks considering that I've now reached a month with no action from Terry. WTF?! Am I supposed to just accept this or is there some kind of way I can get my needs met without seeming needy?

On a completely unrelated note, I just was wasting some time on Facebook and happened to look up an old girlfriend. This week I've spoken to three people I went to high school with and it made start wondering about people I used to date. And I mean actually date, not just hooked up with. So I look up her name and she's the second one on the list. In her picture, she's holding a small baby like it might be hers. Are you kidding me? If there's anyone who shouldn't be a parent it's this woman.

I looked up my all-time favorite boyfriend as well. I saw a picture of someone I thought might have been him but I didn't see anyone I recognized as his friends or family. Now I'll be focused on finding - at least for the next two days.

Which way to turn?

In my last post, I mentioned that one of my special guests (John) asked if I'd come see him without Terry. He also mentioned a very hot scenario that really got me thinking about seeing him without Terry. So I told him that I couldn't do it and since then he has sent me two emails asking, literally begging me to come over without Terry. His most recent email suggested that he and I find another young, hot guy to have sex with me after him. Now I love the idea of two guys lavishing attention on me and it would be awesome to fuck two guys in a row. Terry doesn't put out like that- hell Terry can't even get it up. But I told John again that as long as I'm seeing Terry it's not going to happen, no matter how exciting it seems. But I did mention that my time with Terry may be coming to an end.

I haven't seen Terry since Tuesday, so about 5 days. Now you might be thinking what's the big deal? Well the big deal is that Terry doesn't have anything else to do and he should want to see me. Granted there were some days I wasn't available but where was Terry with his desire to see me? I wanted to see him last night after I finished working and he said he'd contact me after he dropped off his kids. I never heard from him. Now I'm not trying to come between him and his kids but he needs to act like he's interested in seeing me. I'm going to see him tonight and I've decided to read him the riot act. I'm sick of this shit. I get little to no physical contact from him and his take it or leave it attitude towards to me gets on my nerves. I don't think it's crazy to want a significant level of interest from my boyfriend. And let's not mention how he embarrassed me but not showing up TWICE to meet my best friend. I think I've been more than understanding.

So now I'm just waiting like Mount St. Helens to explode. A few times before I've been angry but by the time I saw Terry, I'd let most of it go. Not this time. I'll be sure to give you the fall out details.

Random thoughts

Sometimes I don't have enough to say to make a full blog post. This is one of those times- so I'm going to just give you what I've got on each topic. Here's goes:

I emailed my favorite special guest to see if he'd be available to get together; we haven't gotten together in a while since he started seeing someone. I thought I'd take my chances and see if his new relationship was over- I hate to help someone cheat on their partner. So you can imagine my pleasure when I was greeted by an email from from John saying that he had been thinking about me. And while he did say that he was still seeing someone, he went into detail about us getting together without Terry. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it. John is such a great lay and I'd been dying to see him but I can't see him without Terry. Terry is my boyfriend and although I'm extremely promiscious, cheating on my boyfriends is not something I do. Seems a little prudish but a girl's gotta have some limits.

Speaking of Terry, I'm wondering what's going on with him. I feel like I'm always begging him for sex. Two nights last week I went to his house and was feeling very frisky. I'm kissing Terry, literally pawing at him and trying to get him interested. He would just giggle and say "maybe" when I would ask about fooling around. What's his problem? Maybe? Are you kidding me? I don't know how to remind him that I'm a hot piece of ass and he's lucky that I hang out with his old ass. Every time I'm asked him about his lack of interest, he's all "I'm old". That's not good enough. He doesn't even want a blow job! Hell he doesn't even get dressed in front of me. I've seen what he has to offer and I'm still sticking around, what's the problem? He says we have the same conversation every month about this. If he would stop being so weird, we wouldn't be having that conversation.

On the topic of annoying things, I have a rash on my arms and parts of my legs. I usually get it when I'm in hot weather or under stress. It's been hot and I was sick for about two weeks. Damn body, don't you know it's time for me to find some new special guests but I can't do anything until this rash is gone.

The draft isn't just for the NFL

Terry and I haven't had any special guests since the Jackhammer (see Just Say No). I know it's important to him and since he's my boyfriend, I should try to support that. That being said, he's been Harry Holdout lately and I would welcome the attention. Since my favorite special guest recently informed me that he moved to Southern California, we've been trying to find a replacement.

Much like the NFL draft, you have to look at all the potential prospects and try and find a winner. Last week I posted an ad on craigslist to try and find some new special guests. The real problem with special guests is that you always have to keep few on reserve at all times. You have to screen a lot of people and usually only one or two will work out. Combine that with that fact that each person will probably only be around for a month or so, this is an exhausting task.

I wish there was an easier way to find special guests but an easier way would probably result in everyone being in my business and I don't like that. Terry told me that he didn't want to do the picking because it's overwhelming- I feel the same way but I like having the control over who gets to be the special guest. It just feels like work and there's no getting around that.

The time between when I started this post and when it actually made the blog was more than 2 weeks. In that time, I found out that my second favorite guest got a girlfriend and wouldn't be available anymore. What the fuck?! Now I really have to look at all the prospects and hope one turns out. Maybe there's an all-star waiting to be discovered. One things for sure, there will be plenty of busts.

Just say no to jack hammers

I went almost a month with no special guests for Terry to enjoy. And while that was great for me, I know it was killing Terry. So with his birthday on the horizon, I agreed to bring back someone I really didn't enjoy-Lamont. Although he has an unfortunate name, he's got a rocking body and a really big dick. My real complaint with Lamont was that he kind of man handled me. Terry would always mention Lamont whenever he could. I figured that this was a gift that Terry would appreciate.

So we don't get to see Lamont on Terry's birthday- which was my hope- but he came over a few days later. Usually before the special guests show up, Terry and I would fool around. On this day we didn't fool around and then before I knew it, Lamont was there. So before anything gets started, I tell Lamont to try and be a little gentler with me. Well this resulted in him not being able to get hard and me having to give him a blow job for a half hour! (I can be sure of the time because Terry has a clock by his bed.) Later in the evening, Terry would mention that he was surprised and a little jealous that Lamont was getting such a long blow job.

So Lamont finally gets it together and I'm having a terrible time. I have a pain in my abdomen and now Lamont is jack hammering away. I'm totally pissed at Terry and I just want this to finish. Eventually Lamont finishes and he even apologizes that he can't be gentler with me. I tell him that's fine- I'm lying- and make small talk that includes us getting together again. The whole time he was pounding away at me, I wondered who enjoys this kind of sex. The way he is in the sack completely negates how good looking he is.

Damn it Vegas!

I spent last weekend in Las Vegas visiting my best friend and her family. Considering that I didn't have any money to spend in Vegas- $150 for 5 days is basically nothing in Vegas- I had a great time. I hadn't seen my friend in 6 months and her family in over a year. So the opportunity to catch up with everyone was fantastic. The only thing that was a bummer about my trip aside from the lack of cash, was that I was on my period while I was there. That made my interest in going out and trying to use charm to get some guys to buy me drinks/dinner/whatever, was very low.

So it was with this low level interest that my friend and I posted an ad on Craigslist to meet some guys. As I was falling asleep, I dictated an ad requesting two guys aged 21-45 to hang out with us. To hedge our bets, we posted in women for men as well as strictly platonic. Most of the responses were from single guys; what part of us looking for two guys didn't you understand? So the guys we finally decided on were two dorks from somewhere in So Cal. Not only were these guys late to meet us but when they finally arrived at the casino, my girl had just met a hot firefighter. I excused myself so she could work her magic.

In addition to being broke and on my period, I was in the unknown situation of being in Vegas with a boyfriend at home. And while I like to have more than my fair share of fun, cheating is NOT something I do. I know most of you probably don't believe that but it's so true. So there I am talking to one dude who is 21 (I checked his id) but looked 15 and his goofy looking friend with a bad haircut and a mustache. I sent a text to my girl to let her know that we struck out and we needed to think of an exit plan. Once she came over, we talk for a minute and excuse ourselves to the bathroom. While we're in there, I call my sister and tell her that she needs to call me in 30 minutes so we could get out of there. As we're walking back to where the dorks are at, I say "wouldn't it be great if they were gone when we got there?" And low and behold, they were! We hot footed it out of there hoping not to run into them. As we're basically running out of the casino, my friend says "should we be mad that they ditched us?"

Later that evening, I start getting text messages from the younger one saying he's sorry they left. That his friend wanted to leave, that he's interested in hooking up with us and a plethora of suggestive texts about what's in his pants. I told him not to worry about it and that that window of opportunity had closed. Eventually we met some queens from London who were very fun and wound up buying us drinks and overpriced pizza. Most of the night I felt like I'd led us down the wrong path. Instead of trying to find hot youngsters, we should have been looking for moderately attractive 40-50 year olds. They would have brought plenty of money to spend, not think twice about spending it and most likely would accept a hearty Thank you or some making out; which my friend was waay interested in doing.

The real travesty of the trip was that I didn't remember to pack any vitamins or echinacea. So I wound up getting sick upon returning home. That hasn't happened to me since my first trip to Vegas. Being sick is totally amateur night. So damn it Vegas- you got me this time. Trust me, it won't happen again.

Memory vs Reality

So finally after wondering why I wasn't getting laid, I got laid. Terry had lined up the special guest he turned down earlier in the week; he tried to line some one else up but it didn't happen. So we confirmed with Marco. Terry starts eating me- finally!-and Marco enters the room. Now it had been a while since I last saw Marco but he didn't look at all like I remembered him. I remembered Marco as a fit, Asian-mixed guy who was cute and a fun lay. What was in front of me was a chunky, not cute guy with a terrible haircut. Add to that, he was more interested in me giving him a blow job than he was in touching me. Listen, I'm happy to give a blow job but this is about me not him.

Then Marco decides he's ready to have sex with me and we agree on doggy style. Now begins a short period of sex followed by him excusing himself to go to the bathroom. While he's in the bathroom, I start talking to Terry. I tell Terry that he's not as cute as I remember or as thin as I remember. Terry tells me that if I want Marco to leave, I can go to the bathroom and come back and say I started my period. I laugh and say I don't think it's at that point yet. Marco comes back and we go back to having sex. After about a minute, I say that I need to go to the bathroom. I actually needed to use it but I also wanted the time to think about how I was going to get rid of Marco.

I come back from the bathroom and start fooling around with Marco again. Then I say "ouch" and sit up. I tell Marco that I'm having a pain and we need to stop. I apologize and say that we'll have to reschedule to finish. OK we're never going to reschedule! Marco gets dressed and leaves. I turn to Terry and tell him that Marco can't come back. That he's fatter, uglier and lazier than I remembered. That I had a slight pain but nothing that would have kept me from finishing the job if Marco was better looking. Terry laughed and said he couldn't understand why I wanted Marco to come back at all because he always thought Marco sucked.

I hated to admit that I was wrong but Terry was right- Marco sucked. I just couldn't move past how different my memory of Marco was versus the reality. Terry suggested that maybe I remembered him better because: I was angry at Terry the first time Marco came over, that my room was very dark and that I might have been drunk or high that first time. I'm not sure what the reason was but I was pretty angry with myself- I could have gone to a movie or watched TV and been more satisfied. This is my second time being surprised by the guy that actually shows up. I better start looking at those pictures a lot harder.

I'm horny and I have a boyfriend

Since Terry is officially my boyfriend- he referred to himself as such about 2 weeks back- I've completely stopped pleasuring myself. Between Terry eating me out and our special guests, I'm never at a loss of sexual satisfaction. But this week and this evening especially, I find myself overwhelmed by my need for sexual release. I need to get laid! I haven't said that in over 9 months, so I'm almost not sure what to do. Almost.

This week getting some action has been harder than expected- no pun intended. I saw Terry on Monday and all the action I got from him was making out and he held me while we slept. I really enjoyed both but I wanted some inappropriate touching. Then I wasn't available again until Thursday night; I don't usually see Terry on Tuesday and Wednesday because of my school schedule. Thursday rolls around and after seeing Coraline (kind of creepy) and sneaking into the Watchmen (long), I was too tired- hear me say lazy- to go to see Terry. On a side note, in the Watchmen one of the characters (Dr.Manhattan) is naked the entire movie and has a big blue dick- which was kind of making me horny.

I see Terry on Friday and I try to jump on him the minute I walk in the door. He tells me to "relax". I had even lined up a special guest for that night. Terry wasn't into it; we'd seen this guy before on a night I was doing a grudge fuck. We had another guy lined up for Friday but he was available late and I had to be at work at 7am on Saturday, so it was a no go. Naturally all of this waiting around was killing me and I was tired from doing some work earlier in the day. So I wound up falling asleep on Terry's bed and got no action. I mean we made out but that's not what I wanted.

Saturday comes and I think I'm finally going to get laid and Terry is still hanging out with his son. What the fuck! So now I'm sitting at home wondering why the fuck I can't get laid considering that I have a boyfriend and I have sex with other guys for his viewing pleasure. As if my level of hornyness wasn't bad enough, I watched 5 episodes of Secret Diary of a Call Girl and two shows about remakes of old porn movies. I'm surrounded by sex and sexual images and I'm losing it. I'm going to have to take matters into my own hands.

I better get some action before I leave for Vegas. Or else I'll have to get some action there.

Space Invader

In my last post I mentioned that my sister moved in with me and promised more at a later date. So here it is. Back in January, I began hearing a rumor that my sister was going to be moving in with me. My others sisters would say, "She'll be living with you any minute now", "Better start cleaning that room". Now being a single girl in a two bedroom condo, I've always said to friends and family that if they need a place to stay that they are welcome to my spare bedroom. But there's always been one caveat - they have to clean the room. Since it's my spare room, it basically serves as my junk room. A dumping ground for everything that doesn't have a place, things that I don't want to deal with right now and everything that needs to be hidden before company shows up. It was like having a garage inside.

The last time I cleaned that room was in August before my best friend came to visit from London. Since then, I have been keeping the room much cleaner than usual. So the first week of this month, my sister called me and said "Hello roomie". She proceeded to tell me that she'd be coming over "to clean her room" in the next week. What the fuck?! In a week's time, I was going to go from swinging single to Patty and Selma. I haven't lived with anyone in 8 years, how is this going to work? And more importantly where is all of my shit from that room going to go?
So the next week rolls around and my sister comes to look at and measure the room like this is some kind of a showroom. During this time my parents decided that they would build a monster shed in my backyard so I'd have some place to put all of my stuff and my sister's stuff. In less than a week, that shed is done and my sister's move into my house begins.

I've been spending most of this month getting used to having someone in my space. While my sister is really only at my house Monday through Thursday and spends the weekend with her boyfriend, her presence has impacted my life. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy to be able to help out my sister but now I have to plan my sexual adventures; Terry hasn't been over since she moved in. The worse part of her arrival has been all of the cleaning that I've had to do. Going through old boxes and bags, trying to give away or sell anything that I can. And even after that, still being surrounded by things that need to be dealt with. Even as I write this entry, I'm avoiding dealing with two boxes and two bags of stuff. And let's not even begin to talk about what a shambles my bedroom is. All of this cleaning is as annoying as the ShamWow guy.

So far it's been pretty good with my sister around; she's been cleaning the common areas, so that's helpful. But turning things off after her and finding that my food and/or drinks are gone when I come back is extremely annoying. I'm trying to keep an open mind. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

Valentine's Day- what a let down

Yesterday was Valentine's day and it wasn't as much fun as I had hoped for. I should have known it would be a bummer. Every time I have high hopes for a day, it almost always results in disappointment. After a particularly bad birthday-I had a bit of a break down when I didn't get to eat lunch at Chez Panisse- I decided that the being out of town is the best way for me to spend my birthday. It totally prevents me from evaluating every decision I've ever made. But even with my history of being disappointed on my birthday, I thought why not keep hope alive for Valentine's day.

Now Terry has told me on more than one occasion that he doesn't celebrate holidays and birthdays; seems like a cop out to me- sometimes he can be cheap. So with that knowledge, I planned a low key evening for us at his house. I would have preferred him to come to my house but right now my house looks like a disaster area because one of my sisters moved in with me. (More on that at a later date.) It's kind of weird to do something nice for someone when you know there won't be any reciprocation. I know you're supposed to do nice things without expecting anything in return. . .but come on, it's valentine's day!

My plans for the evening involved a heart shaped pizza- thank you Papa Murphy's- some freshly made chocolate mousse and a special guest. Thankfully I found a hilarious postcard when I was cleaning, so all the gifts cost me $9 dollars. I even told Terry that I got him a gift in hopes that he would do something, anything for me. Now I was way into getting the pizza because it was a win-win for me; Terry gets a gift and I get pizza. So I arrived with the pizza- he doesn't notice it's heart shaped until it's baked- and doesn't bother to thank me for it. What the fuck?! He says he likes the gifts but only after I ask. The night proceeded to go down hill from there.

The day before Rob (see Houston, I think we have a problem) had to cancel at the last minute. So I felt like I needed to get someone to come over. I posted an ad on good ole' Craigslist and found several someones to come over. I settled on a guy that I met online (Trent) last summer when I was looking for someone to go to the nude beach with me. So Trent said he'll come over sometime after 9:30pm. When he got there, he didn't look as good as his photo; he was doughy, had a small dick and looks like a guy I went out with a few times named Roger (see Golden Rule of dating), so that was creeping me out. On top of all that, Trent didn't get there until 11:45pm and was gone by 12:15am. Are you kidding me?!

Before Trent's arrival, I started getting agitated that Terry was acting so excited. It was obvious I didn't want to do Trent and every time we have a new special guests, I'm pissed and prefer to be drunk. But since this was Valentine's day, instead of being angry I was teary. I was crying when Terry was eating me out and started again when we were talking after Trent left. I told Terry that I felt like he was only into me when we're having special guests. And that I don't like the special guests, that they make me feel bad. It was like he wasn't listening. He went on about enjoying watching me and that he'd like to increase to twice a week. I immediately said no to that. He said we could stop but I think he only said that to get me to stop crying. I wanted to scream "You didn't even say thank you for the pizza!" but I couldn't remember if he did or not.

When I left his house this morning, Terry seemed sad but I wanted to go because I had already had a crying fit that morning. My behavior makes me worried about what's going to happen on my birthday. Hell I'm worried about how I'm going to be the next time I'm at Terry's house.

New Day Dawning

Yesterday was the presidential inauguration of Barack Obama. I don't think so many people have watched the inauguration since they started airing it on TV. And I know that this was the largest crowd of people to go to the inauguration- 2 million plus. For a country that thinks of the political process as only slightly more tolerable than a root canal, this was amazing. Now unless you've been living under a rock, you've been hearing about the historic nature of this election non-stop. And given that my blog is mostly about booty calls and making out with strangers, using this space to talk about politics seems as out of place as Dame Edna being the keynote speaker at The Evangelical Ministers Assembly.

But I just wanted to say that I was happy to see so many Americans actually care about our political system. Our general apathy has allowed at lot of poor decisions to be made on our behalf. Being a person of color with low level hippie parents, I've always been interested in politics. Thankfully not in a way that is annoying. Although if you're leanings aren't more to the left, I'll be forced to tell you "You are wrong" repeatedly and it could be a deal breaker on our friendship. But if there is one thing that I'd like everyone to take away from yesterday it is President Obama's call to action ". . .Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America."

Everyone, even this easy, breezy girl has some work to do. Let's get started.

Happy New Year- it could have been better

Let me start by saying Happy New Year to all of the readers of this blog and people who wound up here by mistake. I know it's pretty late in the month for New Year's wishes but you know what I say- "Better late than pregnant!". Actually I can't take all of the credit for that phrase; I first heard Blanche on the Golden Girls say it and it made so much sense I started using it.

As I mention in my last entry of '08, I'm not really big on doing things on NYE. But this NYE, I was looking forward to making out with Terry and bringing in the year with a bang. Well since it's with Terry, a pseudo-bang. Unfortunately even that didn't happen.

During NYE day, I was talking to my sister about what she was going to be doing that night. She didn't have any plans and was trying to find out what my plans were. As the day wore on, it became apparent that none of her friends were going to invite her over and it didn't look like she'd be getting an NYE booty call either. Terry was supposed to come to my house but about an hour before he's supposed to come over, he calls and asks if I can come to his house. He tells me that he's had 3 beers, has a busted tail light and is worried about having to drive to my house. Now I understand his concern about driving on NYE, they tend to have check points everywhere and stop people for anything. But what the fuck?! You knew you were supposed to come over, why were you drinking? Why not come over and drink at my house. While this conversation is going on, my sister is busy getting drunk at her house and still doesn't have anywhere to go except to my house.

I kind of didn't want her to come over. She was already drunk and therefore, annoying. On top of that, I was looking forward to some inappropriate touching with Terry. And that couldn't happen if my sister was over. Now even though I'm a non-practicing Catholic, I still suffer from Catholic Guilt. So there I was stewing in my guilt, trying to figure out if I was going to invite my sister over or try to get some NYE action. In order to figure out what to do, I started texting my other sisters. And to my surprise, they all say "invite her over". As a matter of fact, my sister who likes her the least told me that it would be the shitty thing I could do if I didn't invite her over. So guilt won out and I invited my sister over to my house. I then called Terry and told him that I couldn't leave my sister alone, drunk and sad on NYE. Naturally he was pissed. And so was I. This was the first time in years that I had someone to make out with on NYE. I always make out with someone on NYE but they're usually complete strangers. I didn't want to tell anyone but I was really looking forward to kissing Terry on NYE. Embarrassing yes but I was looking forward to it anyway.

Fast forward to 11:55pm. I get up to get the champagne and glasses and look over at my couch and guess who is passed out. My sister. She could have slept on her own couch at home! She woke up when I started moving around but I couldn't have been more pissed. I shouldn't have been surprised but I thought for sure she'd at least stay awake since she knew I had cancelled on Terry. Combine her being asleep with Terry sending me pissy text messages all night about cancelling on him. It wasn't what I had planned but I should have known that it wouldn't work out. Family always seems to ruin the best laid plans.

So here's hoping that '09 is better than '08 or at least as good.